Aeroplanes and skies

I was extremely delighted to find out that I was seated by the window. It meant that I had somewhere to turn to other than the horde of laughing people surrounding me everywhere else. And for the entire time while I was awake, I gazed out the little panel, admiring the little fluffs of water vapour suspended in mid air, with a background of tranquil blue which gradually blended from a lighter shade to a deeper one as it reaches up higher into space. I could stare out there for hours on end and not feel sickened the slightest bit. For the time I spent looking out there, I felt this indescribable ease embracing me. Like every burden I carried was lifted and all that was in my head was lightness and peace of mind.

But as I huddled against the seat and got cosy under my jacket, the laughter and wild noise urged tears that were hardly suppressible. Call me emotional, paranoid, sensitive, delirious, whatever. My mind has ways of drifting into thoughts so inappropriate.

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I wanted so badly to see you around when I got back. I miss the sound of ur voice, ur concern for me, ur love. I wanted to have ur signature milo porridge, find out what was so delicious about that candy which tasted like Pantene, enjoy my favourite salted vegetable soup and u'd boil for me, dip bread into ur famous chicken curry. But most of all, I miss ur company, and the way u'd care for me like noone else. Because I needed to tell u how secretly painful this trip was, how many times I had gotten sick, the number of bites those blood sucking mozzies gave me, and how much I loved the children and people I've meant thru out the 2 weeks. Because I know u'd listen, I know u wouldn't shove me aside. So would u please just call home once? Once so that I can hear ur voice again, so that I know u're well, so that I can tell u how secretly painful this trip was.